102 More Ways to Kill Scrappy
by LM Simpson
Summary: Time to get back on schedule.
1. Futuristic Laser Gun

**Title: **102 More Ways to Kill Scrappy

**Author: **LM Simpson

**Rating: **M

**  
Warning(s): **Character bashing, violent and other suggestive content

**Disclaimer: **I will never own _Scooby-Doo,_ or any people/places/things mentioned in this series.

**Other tidbits: **I have at last returned, everyone. The original 101WTKS was originally intended as a stress reliever, and this one has the same purpose. Unless I get into a truly out-of-funk period like this one again, don't expect me to return after all 102 installments of this; if I do return to the Scooby-Doo category, it would most likely be for a non-related drabble or oneshot.

Once again, see my profile's "Flame Policy" for more information about what kind of reviews I accept.

Enjoy!

**Method One: Futuristic Laser Gun**

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Mystery Inc. found themselves on the malt shop floor, unable to remember neither the previous hour, nor any recent time for that matter.

"Like, what happened to us, guys?" Shaggy asked.

"I don't know, Shaggy," Fred replied, rubbing his forehead. "The last thing I remember is the Mystery Machine out of gas near a haunted house… And seeing _them!_"

Fred pointed to a teenaged duo pressing their palms and noses against the glass. The boy wore a black tee-shirt and blue jeans, while the girl wore a white tee-shirt and blue jeans. Both donned gray jackets with a design on the left breast pocket.

Realizing the quintet noticed them, the two ran off. Once the windowless walls concealed them, the humans and their dog ran out of the parlor and towards the back.

"Jinkies, they're gone…"

"Okay gang, they couldn't have gone too far. Let's split up—Daphne and Velma, you two and me will go through that back door behind us. Shaggy and Scooby, go track them in the parking lot."

"Rye rus?" Scooby asked.

"Because dogs have extremely good sense of smell," said Velma. "Now go on, my favorite hams!"

And with that, the teams carried out their game plan without remembering to offer the refusing Shaggy and Scooby Scooby Snacks. They stood there for a few minutes before starting to the front of the malt shop with the Great Dane sniffing the floor. Upon scanning three-fifths (or three of the five parking spaces), Shaggy realized:

"Hey Scooby… Do we even know what scent we're looking for?"

"I ron't row."

"Sigh… Let's go back then." His eyes suddenly brightened. "Maybe all of the sundae topping surplus is there…"

Scooby emitted an "Mmm…" and turned to the building's side. Upon arriving at the back door, Shaggy pushed on the knob…

The next time the friends woke up, they were rope-bound in plain wooden chairs. Velma was at Scooby's side, and Daphne and Fred at Shaggy's. The quintet found themselves held hostage in a white-painted wall housing old movie posters and not-too-shabby Swedish furniture. Their situation grew further perplexing as they discovered two futher occupants…

"Why did you capture us?" Daphne said, securing herself an honorable mention that she attempted to make herself useful for once.

The boy replied, sounding like Keanu Reeves with more emotion. "We have brought you here to our headquarters under orders from our boss. Stacey here is plugging the TV and TiVo so you guys can further accomplish our mission statement, which we shall both now quote."

Stacey paused, stood up, exposes both middle fingers and recited with her partner: "We of the I Hate Scrappy Doo Society shall express hatred and call out death threats of our target when appropriate and kill him in many different ways by brainwashing his party and party potentials, dash The I Hate Scrappy Doo Society Official Recruitment Brouchure."

Stacey and the boy, Harvey, resumed their duties. Harvey continued, "Stacey is about to initiate phase one of three. Before we leave I shall leave a book in front of you guys. Take it, read it. Don't forget the passage in the very back, either—otherwise there's no fun with this, hmm?"

Contrary to Mystery Inc.'s beliefs, it was not the first time they viewed the brainwashing Children's Cartoon Axis of Evil. Three hours of _Teletubbies, Boobah, _and _Go, Diego! Go!_ later, the group became living zombies—the worst oxymoron one can create. With their mission debriefed, the duo handed a bonus gift: a gun that resembled a toy gun that shot bubbles instead of bullets. And with that, the group left, found the Mystery Machine mysteriously outside, and drove back home with the gun and book.

Life was like a hurricane at the Rogers residence. The house was in ruins as Scrappy attacked burglars with (what else?) puppy power.

As it gave the group the opportunity to make the puppy's death appear to be an accident, it was time to strike. Velma readied, aimed, and faster than one can say "Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes," it was a dog-blur of red light striking Scrappy and the three anthropomorphic burglars, causing them to drop in a pile of ashes and bodies from the knee-caps up.

Before a draft from the open living room and window could carry the powdery remains away and rewrite history, Velma (whoo!) dropped the gun, opened a book titled _Killing Methods: Conducted by the I Hate Scrappy Doo Society_ to its back, and read the spell on the back cover to resurrect Scrappy and the Beagle Boys so that everyday they would be out there making dog tales (whoo!) and I mean tales of daring do bad and good luck tales.

THE END


	2. Mortal Kombat Fatality

LM Simpson's tidbits: I originally wrote the console as a Sega Genesis, but realized I was writing for the wrong version. So sorry.

Enjoy!

**Method Two: Mortal Kombat Fatality**

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Shaggy and Scooby couldn't believe it—how could they have gotten so high that they threw out all twenty-nine unopened and partially eaten boxes of Scooby Snacks outside? By the time they realized it, the garbage truck was on its way to the Coolsville Disposable Waste Dump. With a way to spend their day, they grabbed Scrappy (all the better to crush him with the compactor in the process!), started the Mystery Machine's engine, and drove to their destination.

The trio illegally entered the damned-soul-less-equivalent-of-one-of-Dante's-circles-of-Hell by jumping over the rusty, chain-linked fence. They fought gulls and conquered mountains of garbage they named after themselves before discovering a shack covered with sheet metal, old road signs, Christmas lights, and old tires. Upon entering the old Hooverville-style shanty, they discovered a couple of unfortunately empty boxes, plus a TV and Super Nintendo run by a lightbulb in a potato.

There was also a note next to the Genesis. It read:

"_This is how we fucking tough dogs learn how to fucking pulverize people dumbass enough to get in our way. Use it to kill the damn pup while we get your shitty snacks._

"_Signed,_

"_Eastwood, Lea, Ruff, Gnash, and Beth._

"_PS- Don't wreck our home away from home or else we will pulverize _you!"

Shaggy and Scooby noticed the cartridge inserted in the console: _Mortal Kombat: Magical Kick-Ass Tournament Edition. _Shaggy switched the power on, a whirlwind kicked up, and the party of three found themselves in a stereotypical looking Chinese place. The best friends found themselves at one side and Scrappy at the other.

A disembodied male voice called out "Round one- fight!" Shaggy and Scooby mostly ran until they got so tired the voice cried out "Finish them!" Scrappy hit them both with his most powerful puppy power; he literally "splatted" them to the ground before the voice announced "Scrappy Doo wins."

The level started over; round two began. This time, the duo attacked, throwing lint-covered Scooby Snacks in their pockets like Chinese stars. So many became trapped within Scrappy's body cavity that he visibly shook and appeared to feel faint; they heard "Finish him!" instead of "Finish _them!_" Scooby attacked, and Scrappy soon stopped moving. That time, the voice announced "Scott Innes wins."

While Shaggy and Scooby asked each other who Scott Innes was, another whirlwind kicked up, and the party of three found themselves back in the stereotypical looking American shanty. Scrappy was somehow already resurrected.

The gang found all twenty-nine dirty boxes outside the Mystery Machine. They wound up having to leave four, however, as the owner of the property gave chase to the trespassers… with a shotgun.

THE END


	3. The Blob

**Method Three: The Blob**

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Nightfall prompted most of Coolsville to fall asleep. Some of the only exceptions lived in Norville "Shaggy" Rogers's residence; Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy dwelled inside their abode, watching a _Blob _movie marathon and munching bowls of different popcorn varieties.

The gang were viewing the 1980s remake and chowing on butter and cheddar-covered popcorn when they heard a roar from outside the house. They initially dismissed it as a low-flying airplane until the noise grew so loud the movie was not heard on full blast. Then, suddenly, they heard a crash in the backyard.

Little did they know that as they left the living room that life was about to imitate art.

To their amazement, the group discovered not an airplane, but a smoking asteroid. While surveying the scene, Shaggy and Scooby realized the potential situation at their hands. They excused themselves back to the house for the camera, also asking for Scrappy to stay put and guard it.

Sure enough, the very second that they collected the fire extinguisher, ice pops, and _Killing Methods, _Scrappy was already yelping. They ran outside and discovered only Scrappy's nose had not been ingested by the gelatinous blob. When the blob completed its first meal, it advanced; the duo proceeded to freeze it with their entire arsenal. They then reentered the house, promising to resurrect Scrappy when their movie was over.

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By the next day, seven-eighths of Coolsville had become the blob's food. The army had to come to intervene; it took more than half of their stay to finally freeze it completely.

Some of the only survivors were Harvey and Stacey. The two received a walkie-talkie message from the founder, head honcho, and boss of the I Hate Scrappy Doo Society to employ the Way-Back Machine. Together, they fished their halves of a mini-hourglass, assembled it, twisted it, and waited for time to go back a day to reverse every effort and avoid this impossible situation again.


	4. Killer Klown Pie

**Method Four: Killer Klown Pie**

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For the second day in a row, Mystery Inc. investigated a space-related mystery. The gang were driving in their trademark painted van, talking about bad and not-so-bad 50s horror movies when Velma interjected "Jinkies!" and pointed to the horizon.

Everyone else gawked at the object. Instead of an asteroid, what resembled a flying circus big top plunged under the trees. Shaggy and Scooby huddled together; even brainwashed stoners remembered their first evil clown. Ignoring them, Fred drove towards the landing site. After all, how often could one declare they killed a dog a la alien clown?

The gang split fifty-fifty to search for clues. Fred, Daphne, and Velma searched the outside of the red-and-white-striped tent. In the process, a creepy, large clown appeared in the distance. He aimed a gun, causing the trio to run to a remix of "Send in the Clowns," which blared over the big top's intercom. The gun emitted a ray which struck Daphne, trapping her inside a semi-translucent ball. Another clown, meanwhile, threw handfuls of maneating popcorn after the other two.

Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy, on the other hand, entered the spaceship's bowels. They were inside a chamber housing cotton candy- _mounds _of the sugary floss. The trio just ate it all up-literally- until Shaggy bit into something hard. To his horror, he fished a human finger. Shaggy and Scooby stared horrified until Scrappy realized they were not alone in the cotton candy cocoon room. The clown rolling Daphne into it noticed them and gave chase while simultaneously continuing to aggravate Daphne's motion sickness.

With Scooby grabbing a fighting Scrappy, the three ran out of the spaceship, only to run out into Velma, who had not been eaten by the evil kernels. The four were circled as another clown exited the ship with a giant pie. The three surviving members of Mystery Inc., plus Scrappy, ran to survive. Shaggy, however, paused to grab the puppy and throw him towards the pie after the clown threw it; he landed squarely into the pie and melted into goo.

The next morning, the survivors returned. Daphne was still in the ball, presumably drowned in her own vomit. Scraps of Fred were scattered with motionless popcorn kernels. Scrappy goo littered its own patch of dirt. Now possessing some remains and a clear coast, the trio were resurrected so that Mystery Inc. could kill Scrappy another day.


	5. James Bond Opening

**Method Five: James Bond Opening**

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Gnash returned to the Dob-Pin Dog Gang's junkyard shelter with a newspaper he gleeped from the manager's office. The gang rarely read anything made with tree pulp, except to read the obituaries or the movie schedule.

After reading the former, Ruff turned the pages to the latter. The dogs couldn't believe it—how could they forget there was a new James Bond flick? Along with the _Die Hard _and _Rambo _flicks, _007 _was the greatest series in their Doberman minds. Upon finding out that the nearest showing was twenty-seven minutes and seven seconds in, the gang become so infuriated that they grabbed empty glass beer bottles, broke them, and fought and cut each other up until Eastwood realized how stupid they just acted. After all, they were deviants from justice—why couldn't they sneak into the theater from the back door and intimidate the guy running the film to start over?

The dog gang exited with this plan until they were just yards from the fence. Standing against it were the two kids who brainwashed them. Harvey explained the instructions as Stacey handed Eastwood a golden gun. As it turned out, Scrappy was at the movie theater not only watching the same movie but also in the perfect position to be killed.

And so, the gang watched _Quantum of Solace_ until the end. Turns out, they did not miss Daniel Craig shooting into the screen (which especially relieved the worrying Gnash). Following the instructions directed to them earlier, Eastwood aimed the golden gun and fired as Bond walked into view. 007 then fired, striking Scrappy in the head and through his chair. The crowd ran in terror as the blood flowed down the screen and into the seats into a red sea (except for some 007 enthusiasts who called it the coolest special effect that ever was). With the coast mostly clear, they resurrected Scrappy via _Killing Methods's_ back's spell, also causing the blood to disappear after watching all the credits (plus the title card that promised Britain's favorite spy would return).


	6. Giant Panda Attack

**LM Simpson's tidbits: **I still hate Scrappy with a passion, but I'm finding that killing him is getting pretty boring, even after a year and a half break. I mean, I'm not even looking forward to it. Seriously, right now I'm feeling annoyed because I'm stuck at a rut for another sequel I'm currently working on in the _Monster Allergy_ fandom, but I just don't care here about updating or even writing new chapters (like how I was towards the end of the first WTKS). Don't expect many updates, especially regular ones. Sorry about this. **Please do not bother me about this, okay?!**

**Method Six: Giant Panda Attack**

(Route) 66 (Route) 66

For once, the tale does not occur within Coolsville's city limts. Instead, it is set in Zoo Atlanta, the local zoo of Atlanta, Georgia, that is the home of giant pandas, gorillas, and the Willie B. (the Gorilla) memorial.

Ruby Doo and her son arrived here at the request of Scooby Dee, who was at the zoo to be entertainment for the naming celebration of their youngest giant panda cub. Upon paying at the gate and posing as a hobos's seeing eye dogs (they were still animals, after all), they walked past the flamingo, elephant, and tiger exhibits and towards the giant panda exhibit.

As Scooby Dee entertained the crowds, Ruby and Scrappy killed time by seeing one of the pandas on exhibit. The panda was named Yang Yang, according to a sign next to the open-aired exhibit. Somehow, this sparked an idea in Ruby's mind…

The glass wall was high, and there was a moat to get through before reaching the exhibit, but it would be worth the effort. She grabbed her son and threw him over both obstacles. He smaked into Yang Yang's stomach and the bamboo the animal was munching on. The irritated panda stopped eating and mauled the puppy before entering the indoor exhibit.

Ruby waited to resurrect her son until everyone left upon discovering the youngest Atlantan cub's name was Xi Lan.


	7. Freak Platform Shoes Accident

**LM Simpson's tidbits:** This is the last chapter I've written… in mid-January.

**Method Seven: Freak Platform Shoes Accident**

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One day, Daphne woke up and decided to clean out her closet. In the process, among the still-tagged shirts, dress pants, skits, and dresses, she discovered the pair of platform shoes she brought in the late '90s. They were purple and had thirty-centimeter high heels.

She smiled at them, wondering why she did not wear them more than a few times. Miss Blake decided to don the pair while meeting her friends later that day before tossing them away from the closet clutter.

As she drove towards the malt shop in her own red sedan, Daphne was reminded of how hazardous thirty-centimeter heels made everything, including walking. Why, forget "Danger-prone Daphne—"she was "Death-prone Daphne!"

All her friends, plus Scrappy too, waved as she exited the vehicle. She wobbled and made huge strides to avoid a tumble. Unfortunately (for Scrappy), she finally strode too far and accidentally stepped on his head before finally collapsing.

Spectators inside and outside the shop were horrified at Daphne's apparent 'crush' film fetish. They gave chase; Mystery Inc. peeled Scrappy off the shoe and fled in the Mystery Machine to resurrect Scrappy and save their own asses.


	8. Mongolian Death Worm

**LM Simpson's tidbits: **My first installment in about a year.I may or may not continue this. Don't ask why.

**Method Eight: Mongolian Death Worm**

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Late one night, Mystery Inc. found itself solving a mystery at the Coolsville Zoo. It had opened its Gobi Desert exhibit just hours earlier, but tremors in the dirt not only terrorized animals but also resulted in soiled trousered tourists fleeing. If the quintet and Scrappy could not figure out what was happening, the zoo could face bankruptcy.

The gang split up to search for clues. Fred, Daphne, and Velma explored the small, educational sub-section soapboxing desert conservation. Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy explored the bulk of the exhibit: the barren, boring, simulated desert. The zoo apparently did its research, as the Faux-bi Desert was cold after hours like the Gobi Desert after dark.

The boys made true "boys will be boys" when they boys took turns boy after boy breaking into the exhibit. They unlocked an authorized personnel only door with a swiped personnel ID card. Scrappy ran outside first, followed by his uncle and his uncle's master. Seeing as how this exhibit both lacked animals and supplied only a potential sand-throwing contest as pre-first-monster-encounter-goofing-off, the monster appeared immediately after Scrappy entered.

First aroused a slight tremor. Then arose a gigantic, slithering worm. Unlike the Great Alaskan Bull Worm Scrappy saw within television's glowing warm glow, this cryptid's red blood circulated under transparent derma. Acid drool dripped and ate the ground.

Scrappy prepared to fight as the elders preferred flight. Perhaps the worm believed the dog was no mortal threat, as it promptly thundershocked Scrappy a la Pikachu. Scrappy died immediately. His body stayed put until Stacey and Harvey picked him up before the animals were put out.


	9. Invasion of the Saucer Men Saucer Men

**LM Simpson's tidbits: **I faintly remember watching this film when I was younger. I thought it sucked even then.

Oh, and still expect a highly sporadic update time, folks. Sorry.

**Method Nine: Invasion of the Saucer Men Saucer Men**

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Scrappy woke on a leaf-covered shoulder off a lonely stretch of road near Coolsville Industrial Highway. Maybe it was because it was dark, but he had no idea where he was. Either way, it was notable that he was alone. Where was the rest of the gang?

Then, suddenly, there was a rustle and bustle in the bushes behind him. He hoped he would not discover, say, Fred and Daphne doing something nasty again. Their interactions after that one time he discovered them during that game show investigation proved quite awkward for the subsequent six months. Hopefully, it was just the gang looking for _him. _

He traveled into the forest's belly, calling all the other member's names. Scrappy noticed some cars in a nearby clearing, but none of them resembled the green and orange colored Mystery Machine. None of the cars contained occupants, either. The would-be teenage occupants, instead, were dead. Two pairs: each a boy and a girl per such. One of the boys had lipstick on his shirt collar.

What was going on?

The rustle and bustle occurred again. Perfect—now he could solve the mystery of the dead teenagers at Lovers Lane all by himself, plus get the opportunity to make use of some puppy power. There were five other figures besides him, all right, but they were not Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby. And they were certainly not doing something nasty either.

They looked nasty, though. The green aliens possessed huge heads that rivaled Scrappy's size, huge yellow eyes that did not rival Scrappy's size, and silvery jumpsuit-spacesuits that provided more elemental protection than Scrappy's fur.

Hellbent on utilizing puppy power, the puppy socked one in the leg. Nope- nothing happened. It didn't even flinch. The punch receiver grabbed and lifted him up in the air. The other four crowded around the duo, and to Scrappy's amazement, long hypodermic needles extended from their fingers, including thumbs. These guys in masks certainly had a higher budget than usual!

That's when the needles stuck Scrappy. They jabbed repeatedly, repeatedly, redundantly. Smelling alcohol in the air, Scrappy's senses otherwise dulled. Then, he blacked out. His heart stopped when the massive alcohol poisoning took effect. The alien holding him captive dropped him, and the quintet stepped away.

They would have continued killing more horny teenagers and stubborn puppies if it had not been for Harvey and Stacey driving torwards the Lovers Lane with the Mystery Machine's lights on. As it turned out, these aliens could not tolerate carlights. They exploded into smoke upon exposure. The two society members quickly retrieved Scrappy's corpse, recited the sacred resurrection spell, and fled before he knew anything of what was going on.

And with that, the chapter parodying the lamest anti-alcoholism movie ever came to a close.


End file.
